Thank you for your recent e-mail requesting that I visit you on the internet. While I appreciate the offer, and would be curious to see just how you fist someone with a bat, as the subject of your message suggests, I must respectfully decline at this time.
To address some other points in your e-mail, I would like to begin with the mention of the "Hot Latina Gangbang". The use of capital letters suggests that this might be state-run, or at least professionally screen printed on a banner and slung between two garbage cans. I won't be able to attend, but hope that the turnout is what you expected.
You make mention of a "naughty blonde nympho who will lick your ass clean" and I was wondering if this may apply to a larger area, say a two bedroom Santa Monica apartment?
As for the "drunk party chick lost control vs fucked in glue", you've lost me. It seems as if you may be weighing your two options. If I was forced to choose at this point, I would pick the fucked in glue. I'm almost 30.
I am very interested, however, in "Asian girl and piano." I am having a small function this week and would like to have her by. Will you please fax a song list to me?
In closing, Mr. Merideth, I thank you for your time and interest in my patronage of your web site and its related services. I fear I do not have the time to devote to these requests at the time being. I will make sure to save your missive should a need arise for a blonde amateur enjoying "doublefuck cum" near a swimming pool. I would also like to thank you for what looks like a string of missile launch codes followed by life-affirming quotes. Lastly, I am sorry it took so long to respond to you, as my junk e-mail folder accidently filtered your mail message.